After a Loved One Dies: A Checklist

You don't have to do all of this. You don't have to do it in order. Most things on this list can wait longer than it feels like they can.

General U.S. information only. Rules vary by state, and this isn't legal or financial advice. For wills, probate, or debts, check with a local attorney.

Get the death pronounced.In hospice at home: call the hospice nurse, not 911. Unexpected at home: call 911. In a hospital or facility: staff handle it.
Ask about organ and tissue donation right away.It's time-sensitive. Check their driver's license or state registry.
Tell immediate family before anything goes on social media.
Choose a funeral home.They will transport your loved one. Check first for a prepaid funeral plan or written wishes.
Take care of the house.Secure it, arrange care for pets, lock up medications, and secure any firearms or valuables.
Eat something. Drink water.Ask one person to be your point of contact so you're not answering every call.

For You

Grief doesn't follow the checklist.
Some days you'll get through ten tasks. Some days you won't make one call. Both are normal.
Let people help with specific things.
Meals, rides, school pickup, sitting with you while you make calls. Tell people what you need
If they have a surviving spouse, partner, or other parent, check in on their plans and support too.
Gently, when the time is right.
If grief feels unmanageable, talk to a grief counselor or support group.
If you're in crisis, call or text 988. Find a grief counselor near you on Psychology Today

A few things each week, for as long as it helps.

Short notes at the moments that tend to be hardest. Three things at a time, never more. Weekly at first, then less often. You can stop any time.

After a Loved One Dies.

A few things each week, for as long as it helps.